Nobody wants to be involved with a man who is already taken. I never planned to be the other woman. The mistress. I will not say that I have no control of the situation.
It didn’t just happen. And I was not solely responsible. He was so caring when I felt so alone. I love the way he makes me laugh and the delight on his face knowing he made me happy. I can’t resist sending him a message whenever I see him online and I know he enjoys chatting with me because he waits until his wife is asleep and would wake up really early to leave me a message. He would walk me to my car at the office parking lot. Although we go out as a group, he would always find himself seated beside me.
We crossed the line. I didn’t mean to fall in love. But I fell in love. Deeply.
He loves his wife. He said he loves me too. He said she should not know anything about us. He could not afford to lose her. He doesn’t want to hurt her. And if I want us to still be together, I should know where I stand in his life. He is married.
I don’t know if he wants me as badly as I want him. He spends as much time as he can with me but I was never the priority. I should not make demands. Things like that are for the wife.
I don’t feel any guilt. I just fear getting caught. I’d rather get hurt knowing that I will forever share him with his wife than not having him in my life. I know I deserve better. Someone who is all mine. But I am still hoping someday he’d leave her for me. The only thing a mistress can do is wait.