When an opportunity opens up for a potential new romance, most of us would usually put our best foot forward. In an effort to dazzle your dinner date, you would focus on your dreams of having a family, aiming your career goals or how witty you can be and how fun it is to converse with you. It would all be well but in this era of social media and dating apps, drunken status updates, unwanted photo tags (read: photos where you look wasted) and check-ins at a trashy bar might just leave your social-media covered in sh*t.
C’mon, admit it. You must’ve stalked that guy you’ve made Friday plans with on his Facebook account. The updates your new guy posts, the pictures he takes and the status updates that he “likes” have become as important as the words that come out of his mouth on the date. Social media may just seem like just another tool to get to know a person more. But in reality, applications like Facebook and Instagram portray a rather distorted, disjointed and altogether imaginary version of the people we are.
One perfect example would be this narcissist guy who uses his Facebook account to feel validated with the numerous followers that he’s acquired during the last presidential elections. His followers increased in numbers because he loved posting his opinions on political and national issues. As a narcissist, he uses his Facebook account as a “stage” where everything he says is considered right and whoever disagrees with him will get automatically blocked. He also recently revived his Instagram account where he posts “lovey-dovey” photos of his current source of “supply” whom he refers to as his “fiancée.” His so-called fiancee is what we could refer to as his “trophy girlfriend”–one he uses to show off his friends. But in reality, the narcissist puts on his mask to cover the real person behind his social media image.
There are many social-media offenses that can lead your senses astray when evaluating a potential mate. Maybe your new guy has perfected the art of portraying himself as a ‘husband material’ or a true-blue jetsetter (with all the travel photos he’s posted).
It would be hard for anyone not to fall in love with this catalog husband on your computer screen. So before you even sit down to dinner, visions of your perfect children and your exotic honeymoon to Palawan are already swimming around your brain. The problem with falling in love with someone’s two-dimensional Facebook profile is that you never know what lies beyond that sparkling smile on his DP.
Then there are those rare occasions where you meet someone through that archaic medium for interaction: in person. He is charming and makes you laugh, and you leave him excited to learn more. But you just can’t wait until he returns from his work trip, so you decide to perform a harmless little Internet search on him, and like many attractive guys, he’s just not very photogenic. All of a sudden you are questioning the real connection you had with him because you are having trouble picturing your wedding photos. Or maybe his status updates leave a little to be desired. Forget being witty in person; his interests utterly bore you. So even though your first impression of him was solid, your little date with his social-media presence leaves you second-guessing your connection. Suddenly you aren’t so sure whether you will accept the dinner invitation.
hese are just a couple of the numerous ways that social media can thwart would-be relationships. And needless to say, online profiles, new “friends” and unwanted notifications can also cause unnecessary problems once a relationship has begun. We have all been guilty of going through our current flavor du jour‘s photos only to see old pictures of his former flame. Suddenly you have burbling feelings of jealousy all because of some stale images from long ago. You are his present, but social media have you living in the past.
“The truth is that the content and character of a possible love should be revealed in layers. The development of a fruitful relationship takes effort, and it is impossible to reach a level of depth with a person by meticulously parsing his Facebook self.”
Someone’s Facebook account or social media life will never give you an accurate representation of the reality. We create the image that we want to convey through our activity on social media. It’s much easier to convey the “reality” that we want to portray on the Internet than to live it in real life.
Our own Facebook profile portrays a character; the real us is much more complex. It would be easy to choose a boyfriend or future husband based on information from his social-media presence, but the longevity of a relationship resulting from such matchmaking techniques would probably be about equal to your mobile phone’s battery life.
Sure, social media can provide supplemental reading when studying a person’s qualifications as a potential plus-one, but you are wasting your time if you use things like Facebook and Instagram to learn about the content required to answer all the right questions.
When it comes to dating, relationship and love life, Psst.ph suggests it’s best to unplug in order to have real and solid connection with a prospective partner.