Sex had always been a taboo topic in most Filipino households. But in reality, there’s nothing really wrong if families would be more open to talk about this “forbidden” topic. Parenting experts even say that it is best to talk about sex and hear them first hand from their parents themselves rather than from a friend or someone else. Despite progress in understanding sexuality and dismantling sexual taboos, there is still a ton of misinformation out there about pleasure, desire, conception, birth control, and more.
We’ve come across a host of false beliefs that have simultaneously made us want to hurl and correct them. So let’s talk about what people get wrong when it comes to sex. Here are some sexual myths we should all stop believing.
You can’t get pregnant if you’re on top during vaginal sex.
You absolutely can get pregnant in the cowgirl position — and any other position in which a penis is in a vagina, for that matter. Sperm swim, whether you’re straddling your partner, standing up, or doing somersaults. They can also live inside the body for up to about five days. Please get yourself a real form of birth control.
The pull-out method can be used as a stand-alone method of birth control
This is what most Filipinos practice as so-called “birth control,” the “penis withdrawal method.” But have you guys ever heard of premature ejaculation? The pull-out (or withdrawal) method, also called coitus interruptus, is when the partner with the penis pulls out of the vagina before ejaculation. Department of Health reports that about 27 out of 100 women who use this method get pregnant each year, meaning it’s about 73 percent effective at preventing pregnancy in real life. That’s not as effective as condoms, which are about 82-percent effective In real life, birth control pills, which are about 91-percent effective. Use the pull-out method in combination with another birth control method, folks. Human error happens.
Anal and Oral doesn’t count as sex
There are all different kinds of sex — vaginal, manual, oral, anal — and ranking them according to how “impure” they make you amounts to a misguided and toxic approach to sexuality. There is nothing wrong with having sex of any kind, as long as it’s consensual and safe. Perhaps if we stopped fretting about the “value of purity” in young women, we’d stop perpetuating this kind of nonsense.
“The truth is there is nothing wrong with having sex of any kind, as long as it is consensual and safe.”
If you have a lot of sex, your vagina will get “loose”
This is completely untrue. An article from Psychology Today describes female anatomy in an excellent visual way that I cite on the reg. Sex expert and celebrity psychologist Dr. Margarita Holmes explains: “Think of it as “a hand towel stuffed inside a thick sock squeezed by two hands,” where the sock is the vagina, the towel is “the folded muscle tissue of the vaginal wall,” and the hands are the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina. Vaginal muscle tissue is very elastic and no penis is going to make it “looser,” as some slut-shamers like to claim.”
You can’t get Sexually Transmitted Infections/Diseases from oral sex
We harp on the importance of using condoms during sex, but fail to remember a critical element: STI or STDs can be transmitted during oral sex, not just anal or vaginal sex. You can spread chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, HPV, herpes, syphilis, and HIV during oral. To prevent infection, use a condom or dental dam and get tested for STI/STDs on a regular basis.
A person with a penis can’t enjoy sex while wearing a condom
We’re sorry to say but this is completely every guy’s bullsh*t reason for not using a lubricated condom. A guy we know once said he doesn’t like to use condoms because “sex isn’t great with such rubber.” Women are subjected to such level of B.S. that they would give into their boyfriends even without them wearing condoms.
If sex with a condom feels like nothing, how can sex with a condom produce an orgasm? People will do anything they can to get out of using condoms during sex, even guilt. This is irresponsible and puts people’s health in jeopardy. If you want to engage in sex without condoms, both you and your partner should be screened for STIs and use another form of birth control, such as pills, patches, or an implant.
Masturbation makes achieving orgasm more difficult
Masturbation makes orgasms better, not worse: They put you in touch with your body and teach you what turns you on. If you don’t know what makes you come, how can you expect your partner to figure it out?
You can’t get pregnant if you have sex in water
You cannot wash sperm out of your vagina and expect to not get pregnant. As we covered earlier, after (healthy) sperm are deposited into the vagina, they start making their way toward the entrance to the uterus whether you’re in a lake, ocean, pool, hot tub, or anywhere else.
Having a lot of sex is shameful
Slut-shaming people for having sex with multiple partners is hurtful and misguided. The only person it reflects poorly on is the one who says it. There is nothing wrong with having a lot of sex: Sex is pleasurable, fun, and a natural part of the human experience. That being said, it’s important to use reliable birth control and condoms or dental dams to prevent STI/STD transmission. Prioritize safety, consent, and pleasure, and have as much sex as you damn well please.