The Secrets We Keep from our Partners: How honest should you be?


How honest should you be with your partner? All couples face the same question some time in their relationship: Do you really want to hear the plain, unvarnished, painful truth? Or would you rather not ask any questions you are afraid to hear the answers to?

Trust is one of the most important virtues a couple must hold on to. If open communication is present in a relationship, then there’s no reason to keep secrets from each other. However, couples must always have the grace of understanding and consideration for their partners. It’s a matter of believing what each one has to say. We’ve seen couples whose lives were (cloaked in) secrets and concealment. These became the causes of broken marriages and shattered homes. How does one deal with a secret that was discovered by one’s spouse and which has become a threat to the marriage? Be humble and ask for forgiveness. Apologize, the best thing to do—to admit the mistake and resolve with your spouse the way forward. The important thing is to preserve the (relationship). Confession and repentance are the only ways I know by which grace (can) be restored (to) a marriage. Any unsettled issue between partners will continue to spoil the relationship. If the spouses are not able to be honest with one another, the dividing wall rises higher and higher. Soon enough, the marriage rots at the core and withers.

Open Lines – The best time to tell your partner your secret and improve communication lines between the two of you is the time you intentionally set to be alone together. Go on periodic dates and cultivate the habit of exchanging views about anything. Violation of trust is a big thing. When trust is compromised, marriage is also compromised. Pray about it and don’t take too long (to make your confession). Make sure you won’t be interrupted and prepare for your spouse’s questions. Be willing to work through counselling or therapy to deal with the conflict that is brought about. Really, it takes two to tango. A successful married life will always (need) each partner’s efforts. If trust and respect blossom and the result will be lifetime commitment.

Vance Madrid

Freelance writer, lifestyle blogger, social media manager, events coordinator, scriptwriter, film buff, wanderlust and certified foodie. Zealous for a keyboard and new experiences, I wish to live and learn through my writing.