When is the right time to start French Kissing?


A truly amazing, off the wall, blockbuster movie-style kiss has enough power to make you dizzy and weak in the knees. Does that sound cheesy? Because we’re pretty convinced that cheesy sayings were born after people experienced a next-level make out session.

Kissing can be the best, seriously. There is almost nothing better than making out. Even as an adult, one gains more experience with things other than kissing, but still,  it doesn’t lose its appeal.

Of course, kissing is an ~art~ and it takes time to perfect it. Trust us, we all have anxiety about being “bad” kissers, experienced or not, so if you’re feeling stressed, you are not alone.

You’re on a first date with a girl or guy you really like, and the two of you are definitely feeling each other. You decide that at the end of the night, you’re going to go in for a kiss. But, is it too soon to get your tongue involved? Should you wait until a few more dates in? Will she feel like you’re coming in too hard and fast if you do try and French kiss her?

When it comes to what the experts say, the jury is out on this one. But here are a few things to consider when you’re figuring out the right time to start French kissing someone new.

Right away, if you both want to

The French Kiss is not something every single person can automatically do with no practice or tips. To be honest, for the vast majority of us, putting a tongue in someone’s mouth is scary if you’ve never done it before (and even when you have).

You want to have that incredible, weak knees, dizzy kissing session, not a slobbery dog-like experience wherein someone is spitting all over you. You may have seen people kissing passionately in movies, and it may have looked impulsive and spur of the moment. In real life, you don’t want to “just go for it.” Be sure to always ask before you kiss someone so, you know both of you are sure this is something you want to do.

You can go on a date and want to French kiss the other immediately. It makes no difference as to when. French kissing is no longer seen as exclusively foreplay to sex, nor is it seen as overly provocative. Many people French kiss at the altar when they wed, and you see lovers embrace and kiss when leaving each other at a station, and a lot of kissing in bars and clubs. A first date would warrant a kiss if you feel you want to see the other person again. Second dates get stuck in.

But don’t assume it’s automatically on the table

Some people might be ready for French kissing from the first date, while some might take a slower approach and need some warming up before they start swapping spit. Nothing is ever fair game right away. Be respectful, mature and upfront about your preferences. If asking if it’s okay for you to ‘take your kissing to the next level’ makes you uncomfortable, consider whether you’re emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship in the first place.

If you’re into each other

The way two people kiss is also the way they communicate and bond, If you’re hesitant to french kiss your partner, then that means there are some barriers in your relationship, or that you two aren’t connecting on the same level.

Remember, we’re all just trying to figure it out

We’re all self-conscious when it comes to kissing. We’re all self-conscious when it comes to, well, everything. Honestly, you don’t really get over the nervousness. Anytime you kiss someone new, there is internal doubt.

Just remember that we’re all trying to be impressive and sexy. No one knows what they’re doing. Kissing takes practice and chemistry with the right person. Not every kiss will be spectacular and few kisses will be miserable. Relax, take a breath, and remind yourself that kissing should be fun!

Vance Madrid

Freelance writer, lifestyle blogger, social media manager, events coordinator, scriptwriter, film buff, wanderlust and certified foodie. Zealous for a keyboard and new experiences, I wish to live and learn through my writing.