You are again in conflict with your teenager. Even if you’ve talked already for the nth time, it seems those talks didn’t happen in the first place. You are now losing hope and even doubting your parenting skills. What is the most prudent way then to deal with a teenager?
Probably, even you would remind yourself not to shout. But you can’t help but yell to make sure your teen perfectly gets the message.
The truth though is, he listens. You, on the other hand, are just too focused on your emotions. In the process, you are only hurting your child and yourself. PSST.ph shares an effective way to stop the habit of yelling. It takes a new habit to erase an old habit.
Take calculated breathing
So cliche yet true. Taking deep and calculated breathing helps. Pause and take notice of the consequences of yelling at your child.
Get your focus on your initial frustration. Once you’ve calmed down, that’s the time you talk to your youngster.
Turn your emotion to art
A study says a strong feeling can spur creativity. Channel then that negative emotion into baking, calligraphy, song composition or gardening. Diverting your energy to something and getting lost in it is a nice therapy, too. In no time, you will get out from the situation well-collected and ready to face the true problem.
Put oneself in else’s shoes
Before being quick to judge and let anger speak, imagine yourself in the situation of the other person. Perhaps he is pointing to something logical and it’s just your battered ego reacting. Try to empathize or at least understand the other’s point of view.
In order to do this, you have to get out of your own. Sometimes, your eyes are clouded but once you see yourself in another person’s shoes you begin to see clearly what that person would want to drive at. Once you’ve seen the other story, be modest and forgiving.
Give a warm embrace
If your emotions are too strong and you know it will betray you, be quick to rescue yourself. Let your arms be quick-witted than your mouth.
Extend your arms and bring your child close to you. Soak him in your warm embrace. Sometimes, this gesture is just what your child needs. It may communicate love, acceptance or forgiveness.
Tense situations may provoke us to yell, be angry, and unforgiving. It isn’t the problem per se that makes the gap between the parent and child wider but that snap decision to get angry and scream.
Make a conscious effort to look at the situation with a calm mind. But just in case you don’t know how to react, a warm embrace will instantly melt away the anger. Don’t find it hard to give it. The person you are dealing with, after all, is your child.