Nurturing your marriage

Marriage is the sacred union of two people who vowed to share their lives together through all the triumphs, difficulties, and trivialities of life. A bond made to the heavens and upheld by the statutes of the land, the journey of many people in search for the “one true love” is often immortalized in novels, webtoons, movies, and television dramas. What is noticeable, however, is that most of these stories always end on the events that lead to the marriage ceremony.

nature-3341809_1920

It is rare to come across literature that relates the story of what actually happened to them during their marriage. In most of these romance stories, the main focus is how a person can win the heart, attention, and trust of one person, his or her one true love. Marriage, however, focuses on how to deepen, nurture, and cherish the love between two people together with their offspring. Here are five ways on how to nurture your union with your spouse.

Always remember that marriage is HARD WORK.

Your home is like your workplace. Adapting to the difficult personalities and preferences of your household as well as maintaining your relationship with everyone while putting everything in order and continuously creating channels of communication and opportunities for growth and development with your spouse or partner must be done with utmost consistency, prudence, and care. Doing all these together entails balance, good judgement, timing, and awareness.

Nurture your FRIENDSHIP with your spouse and enjoy each other’s company.

Marriage is not the end of your friendship. While it’s true that the focus of your relationship can greatly change when you are actually living together and when you have kids, it is important to remember to FIND and MAKE TIME to talk about the things that only the two of you share. It doesn’t need to be expensive. Both of you can cuddle, talk over coffee, share a moment when you can recall your shared past together, a time when you can be the younger you. After all, those curves and good looks disappear. What will greatly hold you together are your shared moments in your friendship.

Be best of friends as long as you live.
Be best of friends as long as you live.

 

Keep your INDIVIDUALITY.

There are people who say that after marriage their dreams and lives become one with the family. In a way, it is essentially true. On one hand, marriage redefines your priorities especially your personal goals. On the other hand, you must never cease to dream and improve yourself for this becomes the foundation by which your kids will define themselves when they themselves become adults. Furthermore, you and your spouse should maintain your individuality so that you may take pride in each other’s presence and stability.

Exercise PRUDENCE at all times.

Your marriage license does not give you the right to say anything that you want to your spouse. Always remember that spoken words laden with emotion lingers forever. It’s context can become  the foundation of your marriage’s stability. Spoken words trigger deep seated memories that may either open old wounds or resurface happy memories. Both however can have an effect on your marriage.

Your marriage license does not give you the right to say anything that you want to your spouse.
Your marriage license does not give you the right to say anything that you want to your spouse.

 

Keep in mind that the key foundation of love is ACCEPTANCE.

When you decided to enter into your marriage vow, both of you agreed to accept each other’s flaws. Part of your marriage package includes all your spouse’s attachments, his family, friends, mistakes, known and hidden habits, your in-laws, debts (if there are any), preferences, peculiarities, and many others. If you are wondering about good looks, kindness, and all the good things, well anybody can love those. The bitter reality is that many couples end their marriage because they cannot accept their spouse’s flaws. And if you are wondering about change, well the truth is, if you love your spouse you would definitely change for the better.

SJ Valdez

Dreamer, Doer, Self-proclaimed Adviser... Simply a MOM!