Kissing is one of life’s greatest pleasures that can be shared by two. But not everyone is a perfect kissing match, and certainly not all kissers are created equal. Sadly, we encounter over a lifetime of kissing quite a few kissers who make elementary—or truly awful—lousy kissers, and it makes us wish that everyone with a pair of lips got their own user’s manual. Psst.ph shares some do’s and don’ts or kissing etiquette .
So, you’re going to kiss a girl and use your tongue. Obviously, this opens up doors for a lot of potentially awkward situations. To keep things less slobbery and more streamlined, here are a few do’s and don’ts to keep top of mind.
Do keep it passionate, and include your body
Remember, the whole reason you’re French kissing and not regular kissing is because you want that added spark that ignites when two people put their mouths together this way. Fetish model and adult entertainer Amanda Coling says that making sure your body is involved rather than just letting your mouth do all the work will help build that intimacy. “The most important part is what you do with your hands,” she says. “You can touch, rub and feel the other person. Place a strong hand on the back of her head and passionate kiss like you mean it.”
Don’t forget about oral hygiene.
If you’re going to be kissing this way, keep in mind that your partner is about to get very up close and personal with your mouth – so it’s to both of your benefits to make sure you do your due diligence in making sure that area is good to go. “Keep good oral health,” Amanda says. “Men, it is appreciated if your facial stubble and beards are not razor sharp. No one likes a stubble rash.”
Do introduce your tongue slowly
You don’t want to take her by surprise with your tongue. Instead, you want to slip it in there seamlessly so that it just becomes part of the motion of your mouths. “Don’t dive straight in for a French kiss,” Amanda recommends. “Instead, kiss around the neck and the mouth. This will make you both feel more relaxed and sensual.” When you do go in for it, use your tongue sparingly. “Don’t feel you need to extend your whole tongue,” says Amanda. “Instead, use the tip of your tongue to explore the other person’s tongue. Then, focus the kiss on the tongue. Remember, you are not licking their mouth but caressing their tongue.”
When you’re doing the tongue tango, it’s almost inevitable that things can get sloppy. But there are actually a few ways to help prevent it. If you feel like you are salivating too much, close your mouth. Then slowly peck her cheek, her ears or her neck. This will give yourself a chance to regroup. Then, go back in. Make sure you’re staying aware of the saliva situation – if it gets too far gone, you might need to discreetly wipe your face before going back at it. The key is to make sure you stop before you get to that point.
Do keep your tongue engaged
Once you’ve successfully introduced your tongue into her mouth, make sure you keep things moving. Actively engage your tongue. Once it’s out, don’t let it stay there. Think of it as a dance of your tongues. Make sure you’re not putting too much or too little force into the work you’re doing with your tongue, either. Ideally, you want to be matched where pressure is concerned. Usually the more delicate, the better.
Don’t hit her teeth
Nothing takes you out of the passionate kissing mood like colliding with your partner’s teeth. To prevent this it’s important to be mindful of how much you’re opening your mouth. Don’t open your mouth too wide. She still wants to feel your lips. If you open too wide, she’ll only feel your tongue and your teeth. Think of it as pursing your lips; your lips are the gate to your tongue.
The best kind of French kiss is when it feels effortless. Of course, you’re both doing work to make it feel that way. If you’re not really paying attention, that’s when the awkward stuff happens. Like, you drool on each other, or you hit into each other’s mouths too hard. We think being present in what you’re doing and not overthinking it are probably two big factors you want to keep in mind when you’re French kissing someone new.
With the few tips we’ve given you, we hope you’re going to enjoy French Kissing sans any nervous feeling the next time you’re intimate with someone.