Is He Taking You for Granted?

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In every long-term relationship, you get to the point where you two get really comfortable with each other. You stop dolling yourself up just to go to his house to watch a movie and start wearing more sweats. You guys watch Netflix more often than you go out. The honeymoon stage is over, and lovey-dovey compliments and statements don’t come about as often as they used to.

All of this is normal and even expected. So, sometimes one person starts to take the other person for granted without even really realizing it. Your boyfriend taking you for granted may not come from a malicious place. It doesn’t always mean he’s a terrible boyfriend or a total jerk. Sometimes it just means that he’s a little too comfortable. While this doesn’t necessarily mean you need to break up, it does mean you need to have a serious talk.

On the other hand, there are some dudes that always take their girlfriends for granted, and that does come from a bad place – it means he’s a jerk. So, there are two things that could be happening here, but let’s start with this: how do you know if you’re not being appreciated? Here are some signs your boyfriend is taking you for granted:

He never makes you a first priority

When you’re in a relationship, you should make each other your top priority – or at least one of your top priorities. If he constantly chooses his friends over you, or he always wants to do what he wants to first, or he just never makes time for you but can make time for other stuff, that’s a problem. Of course there are moments when something else takes top priority, but for the most part, you should be his. And if you never are, maybe he’s not ready for a relationship.

You have tried talking it out to him but he never listens

Do you try to have conversations with him about what’s going on or how to make your relationship better, and he blows you off? Yeah, that’s not cool. He should be listening to you and responding! If he can’t communicate, that’s a huge problem.

He stopped being romantic (When he used to be such a sweet guy)

We’re not saying he has to buy you bouquets of roses once a week and pretty dresses every time you want to shop. That’s asking a lot. Romantic gestures don’t even have to be material things. It can be him giving you the last bite of cake even though he wants it too. It can be him taking you out for a walk or something instead of playing a video game. It’s little things he does for you to make you happy. If he never, ever does this, you need to say something.

You stopped seeing each other/stopped dating at all

It’s totally fine to be a couple who loves to cuddle and watch Netflix. But if your boyfriend never suggests going to dinner or seeing a movie or doing something with friends, and you clearly want to, that’s when it becomes a problem. If you have to beg him to go out, you need to talk to him.

He doesn’t make sacrifices for you

Relationships are about sacrifices. If your boyfriend expects you to make them, but won’t do the same back? Nope. If he never puts you first, or never gives up something he wants to do to do what you want to do, that’s not cool. It needs to be a give and take.

When you don’t do something for him, he demands for it and gets angry

When you make a mistake or don’t do something he asks, does he flip out and act irrational? But then if he doesn’t do something, he doesn’t apologize? That’s really unfair. He shouldn’t expect you to do all the work while he reaps all the benefits. Relationships should be give and take.

He never initiates contact

If you’re always the one texting first, always the one making plans, and always the one calling, take a step back and see what happens. Relationships are about two people – you shouldn’t be doing everything to push it along.

You are always ‘seenzoned’ and he never texts you and respond

Everyone is busy, and you shouldn’t expect your boyfriend to be texting you 24 hours a day. But it’s nice to get a text once in a while. If he doesn’t do that, talk to him. And if he just straight up ignores your texts? Definitely say something. That’s rude!

He doesn’t say those three magic words anymore

Yes, you know he loves you, but isn’t it nice to hear it? If your boyfriend never speaks the words, say something to find out why.

Remember that when someone doesn’t make any effort, he’s no longer interested. As they say in the vernacular, “Kapag gusto, maraming paraan, kapag ayaw, maraming dahilan.”

Vance Madrid

Freelance writer, lifestyle blogger, social media manager, events coordinator, scriptwriter, film buff, wanderlust and certified foodie. Zealous for a keyboard and new experiences, I wish to live and learn through my writing.