Is your best bud becoming a problem pal? PSST.ph’s got some quick fixes from your most frantic emergencies!
It used to be the two of you hanging out at the mall, movies or wherever, but you always had fun together. Now, your pal just wants to dish about boys—all the time. She’s totally not interested in boy-free conversations. When you ask her to go to the movies, she can’t help but ask, “Are boys going to be there?” Why do you get the feeling she’s only hanging out with you until her crush comes through and asks her out?
Solution: Don’t worry, underneath all those boy-crazy comments, your friend still exists. You just have to remind her that there is a world outside of the opposite sex. Why not invite her and the rest of your pals to an all-girls only sleepover or glamping—no guys or guy-talk allowed? Beyond that, you’ve got to be patient with your gal pal. Give her the space she needs to dish about her latest crush, and then suggest the two of you do something that you both enjoy.
Your best friend is acting icy-cold toward you. Something you’ve done has annoyed her, but she won’t say what. Instead, she’s ignoring you and acting chummy with everyone else. You’re not sure if you should be equally angry or just hurt.
Solution: Best friends go through ups and downs. When you spend a lot of time with someone, you’re bound to have disagreements. You’ve got to figure out what’s upsetting your friend. The best way is to simply ask her, then see if the two of you can reach an understanding. Remember, you shouldn’t hold back from saying, “I’m sorry”.
She compliments you on your new skirt, and then shows up wearing an identical one the next day. “I love your laugh,” she says. “I want to start laughing like that, too!” Grrr! You have fun with your friend, but hey, the girl’s got to back off a little. Both of you buying the same flavor of lip balm is one thing, but having the same hair? And shoes? And backpack? Can you say smothered? Do you have a long lost identical twin sister?
Solution: Although it feels like your pal’s trying to grab your personality, remember that imitation is all about flattery. She admires you! But because a girl needs her own identity, you got to do something. Instead of making a scene, be super nice. Suggest you go shopping together to find her own signature scent. Compliment her on her laugh. Point out qualities she has that you admire. Build up your pal’s sense of self and you’ll get to keep your own as well.
Everything needs to be done her way. Why? Because she’s got the best ideas, the most experience and is the most popular – you know the drill. The bossy friend has a lot going for her, but being humble isn’t one of them. And there’s no point in arguing because she’s always right!
Solution: The bossy friend might seem like she’s completely in charge, but chances are she’s insecure and needs to know that everyone’s listening to her. Give her time to express herself, but realize you don’t always have to do everything she says. Don’t make yourself a doormat! Compromise is the key!
You’ve been friends forever and used to be able to tell each other everything. You could spend days together without ever getting bored or mad at each other. Now, she’s like a stranger to you. You don’t have anything in common anymore. You’re still nice to each other, but you sort of aren’t sure why.
Solution: Outgrowing a friend, especially a close one, is tough, but it’s totally natural. As you grow old your interests change, which may leave you feeling out of tough with your bud. Sometimes it just takes a little time apart to end the awkward silences. If not, then it may be time to treasure your fun memories and let your friendship come to a close.