How to choose a friend for Keeps

Just last year, you realized that you committed mistakes, said words that you regretted, and chose to stay with abusive and negative friends because you thought that you could change them. You were hurt and felt betrayed because apparently after being true and good to people that you thought were true friends, you learned that they did something that placed you on a bad light.

Finally, you’ve decided to free yourself from getting hurt further. This year is the perfect time to start self-healing and finding the right people that you can call true friends.

Experience is truly a great teacher. Psst.ph shares tried and tested ways to choose friends for keeps.

Choose the right person.

Always be with someone who puts you up when you’re down, becomes glad when you are happy, cheers for you when you are gearing towards success, and tells you the things that you need to know and not only what you want to hear.

True friends are always glad for your happiness and success. They will stay with you through thick and thin.
True friends are always glad for your happiness and success. They will stay with you through thick and thin.
Be honest and sincere.

Don’t pretend to be someone who you are not. There are people out there who are going to accept you for who you are and would never look on what you have only. Putting yourself inside the box refrains you from getting the freedom of being you. Doing so gives others false impressions and too much expectations that you can’t meet. Fulfill your promises and tell your friends immediately if you can’t. Honesty is still the best policy.

Less words, less mistakes.

If you don’t have something good to say, don’t speak. You can’t get back the words that you say so be careful with your words. Hurtful words leave scars that don’t heal.

Appreciate people.

Be generous with positive reinforcements and praises. It’s nice to say words of encouragement and thanks to the people who stay true and good to you through the years. Your words validate also that you have made the right choice of surrounding yourself with good people. That means you are in good company.

Refrain from being too judgmental.

Judging others based on your first impression is normal because it is a means for you to protect yourself from dangerous and abusive people. Although most of the time first impressions last, it is more reasonable if you tell who the person really is after you spend some time with him.

Be considerate.

Each person has a different background and life experience. In making decisions involving a person, always try to look at different angles of the situation and person’s current state of well-being. Be nice. Be reasonable. You don’t know what battles he is going through.

Always keep in touch.

Everyone is busy including yourself. Amidst the demands of your current situation, may it be with work related or personal, it is best to squeeze in time for your friends in your hectic schedule. If you are too busy to catch up in person, a simple hi or hello often, remembering your friend’s special day, or asking how he is online can make a lot of difference.  Be mindful and thoughtful always.

Always look at the goodness of every individual.

Man is born inherently good. What makes him a person who he is right now is defined by his experiences, exposure, and upbringing. But it is also best to follow your intuition and observe danger signs to avoid getting bad company. Like for instance, if you meet a person for the first time and he already tells something bad about others that you don’t even know and most especially if the person that he is talking about is his own friend, there is a possibility that he can do the same to you behind your back.

Pray for guidance and long lasting relationship.

Prayer does wonders. Placing God in the center of your friendship leads to a long-lasting and wonderful relationship.

You are who you choose to be with. Surround yourself with positive people and take the negative ones out of your life. You deserve to be happy and free from stress and abuse. Make the right choice, right now.

Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish novelist, poet, essayist, and travel writer, once said, "A friend is a gift you give yourself." Choose wisely.
Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish novelist, poet, essayist, and travel writer, once said, “A friend is a gift you give yourself.” Choose wisely.
SJ Valdez

Dreamer, Doer, Self-proclaimed Adviser... Simply a MOM!