How to Carefully Say the Hard Truth

Truth hurts, as they often say.  For one, it is painful to accept the hard fact.  But it is equally difficult to tell someone the truth as well especially if we aim not to hurt that person.  However, be it a friend or a family member, bringing up the truth to him is but the right thing to do.  It may be awkward, yet still, being honest to that loved one only shows you truly care.  How to do it? PSST.Ph helps you open up successfully and assist the other person to move on with grace.

How to Carefully Say the Hard Truth

How to Carefully Say the Hard Truth
How to Carefully Say the Hard Truth

Set the stage

It is prudent and proper that you bring up the truth to the concerned person than let him hear it from others.  You owe it to him, and it shows that despite the hurt it would soon bring, you respect that individual.  You value whatever relationship you have with him.

Setting the stage only means you ask consent to have a conversation with the person.  You do not tell the news over the phone or just text it.  As a sign of respect and care, you ask the concerned when he is most available for a serious talk.  This way, you are giving him the time and space to ready himself for a potentially painful news.

Set the mood
How to Carefully Say the Hard Truth
How to Carefully Say the Hard Truth

 

For a more sincere dialogue, choosing the comforts of a home is the most appropriate venue.  You need not worry about others overhearing your conversation or if the person you’re dealing with will make a scene.  You may also opt for a park for a more relaxed environment so you could walk after the talk. A quaint diner is also an excellent option for a more comfortable ambiance.

Set a friendlier start

In divulging a sensitive issue, it is best to avoid an offensive or accusing tone.  Your intention, to tell the truth, is because you care so start with a positive tone.  Do not beat around the bush either and spend the first one hour talking nonsense.  If you got the courage to call him for a meeting, you should have the strength as well to start the conversation.  Again, start with something positive like “I truly care for you thus I am telling you this.” Then transition to the meat of the story.

Set the trust and concern all throughout
How to Carefully Say the Hard Truth
How to Carefully Say the Hard Truth

 

Remember, you still need to look after the person after revealing the truth to him.  He needs your support.  Let him know that it is equally difficult for you to tell the truth, but it is something important for him to know.    This sets the ambiance of trust and concern.  Use kind words all throughout the conversation, but be honest.   Again, avoid being offensive or accusing.

Ready yourself as well

The person may not be open to the revelation you did.  It is normal for him to deny and not accept the truth right away.  Prepare yourself that there might be possibilities you will walk away feeling upset because of the not so positive response from the other party.    What is important was that you were able to reveal something important.  That alone would give you peace of mind.  Inasmuch as you need to consider your feelings, too, the reason for the talk is for him to know the truth. Thus, give him space and time to accept everything, the same way you were able to give yourself the time to accept and reveal the truth yourself.

End with a resolution

Do not leave things hanging.  It is best if you have come up with a conclusion or a resolution before leaving the room.     Do not leave with assumptions either.  If you could agree to something before parting ways, the better.  It is equally important as well to stick to whatever you have agreed upon.

How to Carefully Say the Hard Truth
How to Carefully Say the Hard Truth

If, by chance, you’ve noticed the other party cannot respond immediately – perhaps because of shock – leave the room for contemplation.  Give him space and time to absorb everything. Do not rush the first meet up. Leave the door open for further conversation. But again, you should make it clear you will meet again for another talk when he is ready.

Carefully Say the Hard Truth

Truth hurts. Most of us would rather keep the truth so as not to hurt others, and let that person believe his own story. But keeping the truth from someone else may get us in more serious trouble until it bites the other person or us, we can’t anymore ignore the pain it brings.  It is best then, to be honest.  Truth does not harm anyway.  Remember, it is the illusion it creates that kills.

Berlin Domingo

Devoted. Compassionate. Instinctive. Berlin loves to write personal narratives, thrilling discoveries, and mommy tips that make daily living the happiest. She shares a place called the small house with her husband and their four boys.

  • Wendy

    What if you’re in no position to tell the truth?
    That is my quandary. I would love to tell the truth, but am in no position to.