How to avoid players and gold diggers?


Each gender has a basic fear when it comes to the dating scene. Women fear “players”; men fear “gold-diggers.” Although in today’s society, there are actually men who are already so-called professional hustlers, gold-digger themselves who uses their good looks or chiseled muscles in order to prey women with money.

For women, “players” are men who say they are interested in a relationship–and even act like it, but after they’ve slept with you, they lose interest or disappear altogether. It is extremely painful to realize you have become just another notch in his belt.

For men, “gold-diggers” are women who appear to have their life together, but in reality, they’re looking for a guy to take care of them, especially financially. It is equally painful for a man to realize that his woman isn’t so much crazy about him as she is crazy about the lifestyle he can provide her.

If you’re single and actively involved in the dating world, you desperately want to discover who is for real and who isn’t. But how can you tell if the man or woman you’re interested in is actually a “wolf in sheep’s clothing”? How can you spot and therefore avoid “players” and “gold-diggers”? Well, actually, it’s quite easy. Let’s begin with you women.

This advice is for men and women who want to create a meaningful, committed, long-term relationship. Second, don’t sleep with him on your first date. That’s basic. If you do that, you’re asking for trouble.

In today’s world of dating, women exercise this privilege repeatedly. Screening the pool of potential paramours is a good idea that Players need to adopt. There are those who are right for us and there are definitely those who are wrong. Pick your shot, pick your battles and learn how to pick a woman. The best way to begin to learn how to pick the right girl is to learn the women to avoid. Navigate yourself away from the choppy waters of the crazies, the unpredicatables and the angry females who prowl the dating world.

Use the information below as a guide — The Player’s list of five types of women to avoid. For most of us, we must have encountered them all and in great detail. Take this advice and avoid the mistakes we have made.

Life is a great teacher, but a bad date is truly a professor. This list offers a starting point for your tutelage in avoiding the bad while looking for the good that eventually turns ugly.

The Smart Arse

What man/woman doesn’t enjoy a cerebral opponent? What man doesn’t want a woman who has an opinion, has a personality and can participate in a conversation or debate on just about any topic? Of course, a hot body is a turn-on, but a true Player recognizes a hot mind and a blazing personality. These are the absolute aphrodisiacs. A woman with verbal confidence is a true catch. But when confidence is locked on contentious and confrontational, you should make plans to avoid her/him.

The Smart-Arse drips sarcasm. He or she enjoys answering and asking questions with a tone and an attitude that pushes away the nicest people. Their words drip with venom and their personality is based on making others feel beneath them. They will say they’re confident and that no one understands their sense of humour. You will know she/he’s a smart-arse, and one of the five types of people to avoid in relationships.

The Gold Digger

Both men and women have experienced the effort to bring together their physical, spiritual and financial aspects. In the process of courting, men usually will pay for flowers, go out to the movies, take the weekend to go camping, and lay the world out before her. However, while you spend with emotion and desire, make sure your newfound lady is enjoying you rather than your money. Gold Diggers will eventually show their colours when they begin expecting you to pay for everything including the bills. Going for broke in a relationship is far different from going broke, Player. Remember that.

The Gold Digger is easy to detect, but they are a smart breed. A Gold Digger will instantly speak of high-priced evenings and pricey desserts. They will mention their bills, wants including their “favorites” and their need for your financial help. They will also take this time to arouse you to the point of blind obedience. Stand your ground and keep your hand on your wallet.


 Mr. and Miss Right

While the description may make you scratch your head, it’s not what you think. A sign of a true Player is the appreciation of something good. So if this was Miss or Mr. Right for you, we would give you the green light to pursue. But this is Ms. Right, as in Ms. or Mr. Always Right or Ms./Mr. Has To Be Right. This person can have a host of great qualities and characteristics, but they have a stubbornness for being correct that turns off any man/woman and turns any relationship into a disaster — that’s why they made it to the types of people to avoid. They had to be right about anything and everything to the point that your slightest word had better be in agreement with her’s. If you disagree or prove them wrong, there is hell to pay. While their great qualities may make you want to hang in there and overlook (or modify) her ferocity, Ms./Mr. Right is one of the types that cannot be changed. Sorry, but the best you can do is avoid them. Their pride and  arrogance should send up two red flags that scream turn and run as fast as you can.

Spanish writer Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra once said, “Forewarned, forearmed…” Knowing the types of lovers to avoid should help you begin your own guide of mistakes best made by others, not by you. Know this as well, there are definitely women and men out there worth pursuing and dating. Rather than focusing on those you want to avoid, put your efforts into finding those that are compatible to you and continue those pursuits.

Vance Madrid

Freelance writer, lifestyle blogger, social media manager, events coordinator, scriptwriter, film buff, wanderlust and certified foodie. Zealous for a keyboard and new experiences, I wish to live and learn through my writing.