If you’re dealing with a breakup, you will be very familiar with how all-consuming it can be. You cannot do anything without thinking of your ex and a large chunk of your brain is probably dedicated to figuring out whether you could have done anything differently. It might not seem true in the moment, but trust us, you will move on from it.
People say that you get over breakups when you get closure. Well, what the heck is closure anyway? It’s not a tangible thing like a bag of lemons or a pair of jeans. It’s a feeling and sometimes it’s not obvious you have it. In some cases, you might think you’re over your ex, when reality could be different.
It’s really down to you to decide whether you’re over your ex or not, but there are some helpful signs you can look for that indicate your heart has healed. Here are seven signs that you’re actually over your ex. If you don’t recognize them yet, don’t panic, you will get beyond this.
You stop thinking there’s a possibility you’re getting back together
Remember when you first broke up, you still thought there was a slim chance you and your ex would get back together? And did you hang onto that for a long time? You could not believe he could actually ditch all those years he’s had with you. If you can honestly say that you understand you and your former flame aren’t getting back together, and you’re okay with it, it’s a good sign that you’re able to move beyond this.
You are friendly with your Ex
After breakups, things can be messy and there can be some bitter and/or awkward feelings. If you’re now in a place where you’re cordial with your ex, it’s a good sign. This is true when you have common friends. We’re not saying that you two have to be the best of buddies or you have to want to hang out with each other. If you can tolerate being in a room with your ex without wanting to throw a piece of cake at him/her, that’s great.
You can think about your relationship without it being painful
After a breakup, just thinking about the smallest things related to your relationship can trigger tears or daggers in the heart. Have you come to a spot where you can think about your time with your ex and not get misty-eyed? Are there even some happy memories that make you smile? These are all good signs.
You stop wondering “What if…?”
Have you progressed beyond the stage where you replayed all of the things that happened in your relationship and you wondered whether you could have done anything different? Have the 20 different scenarios in your head subsided? If so, pat yourself on the back. If you’ve come to a point where you’ve accepted what happened and know you cannot change the past, that’s excellent.
You’re open to dating again
You might not want to become attached just yet, but would you consider getting into a relationship with the right person? That shows that you are moving on. The opposite is true if you want to jump into any old relationship. That could indicate that you’re afraid of being alone and you’re willing to settle for just about anything.
You stopped stalking your Ex on Social Media
Admit it: How often were you creeping your ex on Facebook, Instagram, et al? If you find yourself not caring about what your ex is doing as much, that’s good. There isn’t anything wrong if you still want to follow your ex on social media. It only becomes an issue if you are so focused on what he/she is doing it consumes your life. Ditto if you’re snooping the feeds for signs of new SOs.
You’re open seeing your Ex with other people
Before, did just the idea of seeing your ex with someone new shatter your heart into a thousand pieces? Are you now able to see your ex with someone new, or are you at least okay with the idea? That is very good progress.
So when did you realize you’re way over your Ex? Let us know in the comments.